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Mirjam Bina de Boer

You can close your eyes to what you don't want to see. But you can't close your heart to what you don't want to feel.

Distance and adoption often take place in the pre-verbal phase or in a phase of life in which adoptees do not yet master the Dutch language. We often see that in later life the adopted person experiences emotions such as anger, sadness, loneliness, and hiraeth that he or she cannot place. This is because in most cases we have not consciously experienced distance and adoption, while the loss trauma is stored in our body. In addition, many adoptees have to deal with a mirror image that does not correspond to the environment in which they live. This means that adoptees sometimes wish that they also have a Dutch appearance. Through the systemic work and the discussion groups, I notice that when adoptees reconnect with their origins and their hidden identity, this is often the first step to rest and healing. From survival to life! Photo: Therese Rijken Photography

Adoption Coach - Trainer - NLP Coach - Systemic work

BIOGRAPHY

Bina (Mirjam) de Boer was born in India, raised by adoption in Friesland. She is married and the mother of two children. In addition to Adoption Coach, Bina works as a Senior Team Manager for the government. When she experienced that there is a shortage of adoption-sensitive assistance, it has become her life's mission to ensure that adoptees are no longer alone. Bina has rapidly mastered the adoption field since 2005. In addition to various activities for adoptees, such as meeting and discussion groups, she has also focused on the emotional and inner development of adoptees. Since June 2, 2019, she owns Bina Coaching and is co-founder of the Facebook Community DNA India Adoptees. She is also an International Representative for the ICAV, the International Platform for Adoptees founded by Lynelle Long. In April 2019, she was co-founder of the AFC Group, Adoptee & Foster Coachgroup. Where she is Adopycoach, systemic counselor and Co-Trainer and Supervisor for the AFC adoption coach training. As a coach and trainer, Bina has the ability to let participants look at themselves, their environment and the situation in a surprising way. She does this by combining her knowledge, skills and life experience with her feeling for people. She inspires, motivates and reflects where necessary. She has acquired her knowledge by following various courses in the field of psychology, coaching, NLP, inner child work and systemic awareness. Bina about her own adoption; “I personally describe my adoption as a big shiny gold medal of which the outside world is often blinded by the gold, but cannot see the dark side, distance & loss, and / or feel the weight (the sacrifices) of the medal. Sacrifices such as my name, identity, date of birth and loss of family and land. I do not remember the loss trauma, but it is stored in my body. NLP and Systemic work have been a godsend for me in my processing process. The lack of expert aftercare for adoptees was the motivation for me to start working as an Adoption Coach ”.